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Faut souffrir pour etre belle.
this is my hell
07 December 2009 @ 02:20 pm
withstanding my own illusionary sanity
i quicken my pace
to be with my newborn brother.
its not just any day and he is not only a face.
he is love instantly combined with tearful eyes.
he is the lump in my throat that keeps me from talking.
only a stare will do into our sister's eyes.
i am no longer the youngest and i no longer feel alone.
this life, i'm sure, is to lead mine
and finally give my soul a home.
i quicken my pace
to be with my newborn brother.
its not just any day and he is not only a face.
he is love instantly combined with tearful eyes.
he is the lump in my throat that keeps me from talking.
only a stare will do into our sister's eyes.
i am no longer the youngest and i no longer feel alone.
this life, i'm sure, is to lead mine
and finally give my soul a home.
26 November 2009 @ 09:30 am
1. my mom's family is meeting at my grandmother's for lunch like always. then my sister and i are going to my dad's house where his girlfriend is cooking us dinner. then i'm staying overnight at my dad's and waking up early and going shopping for black friday because i'm just that crazy.
2. i think tradition is great, but i won't be eating turkey this year since i stopped eating meat. and to be honest i never liked turkey pulled off the bone anyway.
i am looking forward to being able to eat a lot of great southern food (like fried corn, homemade mashed potatoes, glorified cabbage, and pumpkin pie) and get away with it :)
24 November 2009 @ 11:20 am
'don't choke if you smell smoke. i dip my tongue in gunpowder then i clear my throat.'
14 November 2009 @ 04:15 pm
the monsters in my kingdom never spare.
they endeavor through the greatest unknowns
and old spirits combined.
they fear nothing for there is no time.
these monsters are torn at the heart
between the battle and the village,
but who's to say its all the same?
i guess i could say i stand alone in prayer.
they endeavor through the greatest unknowns
and old spirits combined.
they fear nothing for there is no time.
these monsters are torn at the heart
between the battle and the village,
but who's to say its all the same?
i guess i could say i stand alone in prayer.
14 November 2009 @ 03:53 pm
the temporary home for my heart
was thought to do no harm,
but how far did it go?
did it come to nearly the end
or was it just the start?
there's more words out there than needed.
ten for the thought of the simple one.
and all that's needed now in this temporary home
is the thought of a hopeful love to come.
was thought to do no harm,
but how far did it go?
did it come to nearly the end
or was it just the start?
there's more words out there than needed.
ten for the thought of the simple one.
and all that's needed now in this temporary home
is the thought of a hopeful love to come.
11 November 2009 @ 08:42 pm
If you could only listen to one CD for the rest of your life, what would you choose and why? Submitted By |
nirvana's nevermind, because every single song on that album is perfect :)
07 November 2009 @ 06:29 pm
after years of hearing about this movie i finally watched it a few days ago. needless to say, i definitely recommend it.
www.imdb.com/title/tt0102494/
( Read more... )
07 November 2009 @ 11:06 am
i should be happy in chaos
because its all i have,
but over the night i stutter and stumble
through thoughts too wicked to repeat
and my own war which has become too much trouble.
sitting alone on the sidewalk,
my secret protest will never win me back.
my only hope is that one day there is more than an end to this war
and no more attacks.
because its all i have,
but over the night i stutter and stumble
through thoughts too wicked to repeat
and my own war which has become too much trouble.
sitting alone on the sidewalk,
my secret protest will never win me back.
my only hope is that one day there is more than an end to this war
and no more attacks.
30 October 2009 @ 10:23 pm
pacing the cage
dared to follow you in,
but since i only stare
i must let the sky spin.
if i have your eyes
then i'll voice your screams.
if you have my skin
then you'll protect my dreams.
i'm nowhere now.
i'm nothing now.
i'm searching for the horizon
but only see the bottom.
dared to follow you in,
but since i only stare
i must let the sky spin.
if i have your eyes
then i'll voice your screams.
if you have my skin
then you'll protect my dreams.
i'm nowhere now.
i'm nothing now.
i'm searching for the horizon
but only see the bottom.
22 October 2009 @ 12:35 pm
kept prisoner by apathy,
losing each day,
my heart to not suffice but suffer
i no longer pray.
my forgiveness is shattered
because i'm helpless and feel alone.
losing the calling that i've been faking,
maybe the crying wolf never had a home.
yesterday i cried for i'm lost in this world
and today i cried because i'm just lonely.
laughing hardly does any good because its also fake
and those feelings of loneliness never go away.
silent bitter retreats make me so unhappy.
10 October 2009 @ 11:05 pm
make sense, not war.
the war in my mind keeps churning
and they're all just enabling,
but some days i don't want it any different.
when every day is the same
they become emotionless.
losing the little sense i had gained.
losing the qualities i'd finally sustained.
now nothing ever rhymes and sounds right.
the salt is caked on my cheeks from crying.
the flowers are slowly dying and i'm afraid i am too.
the war in my mind keeps churning
and they're all just enabling,
but some days i don't want it any different.
when every day is the same
they become emotionless.
losing the little sense i had gained.
losing the qualities i'd finally sustained.
now nothing ever rhymes and sounds right.
the salt is caked on my cheeks from crying.
the flowers are slowly dying and i'm afraid i am too.
03 October 2009 @ 08:24 pm
on the brink of fifteen
just trying to live and let be.
studying clouds and the shapes on the horizon.
living death to the fullest
and playing with knives in my head
i'm now a child with no toys
and a stranger in my own bed.
three years seems so little ago
and so long at the same time.
now i'm calling for redemption
and praying for a great rhyme.
with god on one shoulder
and the devil on the next
i'm constantly changing my mind
and always having to remind myself that the sun still shines.
somewhere the sun is shining.
just trying to live and let be.
studying clouds and the shapes on the horizon.
living death to the fullest
and playing with knives in my head
i'm now a child with no toys
and a stranger in my own bed.
three years seems so little ago
and so long at the same time.
now i'm calling for redemption
and praying for a great rhyme.
with god on one shoulder
and the devil on the next
i'm constantly changing my mind
and always having to remind myself that the sun still shines.
somewhere the sun is shining.
29 September 2009 @ 12:09 pm
"we don't see things as they are,
we see things as we are."
adverse memories, dead as the sea.
i like to think my life's more a comedy than a greek tragedy.
but when God sends rain every other day
i'm only strong half the time
and only useless in my mind.
thoughts taken over by one man, my father.
i have no respect for God because he no longer bothers
to be fair. verb: to care.
and because i'm fallen i'll spin the wheel,
see what i get.
a blow to the heart or a knife to the neck.
27 September 2009 @ 11:50 am
i want something serene.
not necessarily beautiful,
just quiet enough to see.
because now my mind is running full throttle.
i'm stabbing myself in the back
with words i'll probably never forget.
just forget with me all the times i cried.
i'm losing slow forgiveness now
even though i know i never tried.
if i could play with God i'd say one thing...
"if you're so great, why can't you make me happy
and send all pain away?"
...but there must be a negative to be a positive, right?
26 September 2009 @ 02:13 pm
randomly found this on flickr. i love it.
_____________________________
Closed doors, facades and dead cities on the brink of oblivion of the sea, the collapse of many clouds ... now, dying for me today. And every day is today, all days are sick, every day, in the midst of months and the body of years, are, again, today ... today was tomorrow, today will be yesterday and every day, they pass by me, every day, pass through my fingers the thread of Aryadne, the cold marble of the ecstasy of St. Teresa of Avila. In the background, on the line of the horizon, quiet grazing, giraffes from Salvador Dali ... the giraffes pass by me every day and I do not see me eating the pasture.
Paulo Acacio Ramos
_____________________________
Closed doors, facades and dead cities on the brink of oblivion of the sea, the collapse of many clouds ... now, dying for me today. And every day is today, all days are sick, every day, in the midst of months and the body of years, are, again, today ... today was tomorrow, today will be yesterday and every day, they pass by me, every day, pass through my fingers the thread of Aryadne, the cold marble of the ecstasy of St. Teresa of Avila. In the background, on the line of the horizon, quiet grazing, giraffes from Salvador Dali ... the giraffes pass by me every day and I do not see me eating the pasture.
Paulo Acacio Ramos